Shut up and let me see your Jazz Hands.

me in the morning: i'm tired don't look at me
me at school: i'm tired don't touch me
me after school: i'm tired don't talk to me
me blogging at 3 in the morning: hey guys i have so much energy who wants to swim to africa and back?????

eatsleepstrokesrepeat:

i don’t care how long it takes

sooner or later, my family will have to look out the window

Benefits when you're cute: More people notice you, more people talk to you, people listen to you, you get jobs easier, you get dates easier, it's easier to get into a relationship, people text you back faster, you get more followers, you get on those fuckyeah sites faster, you feel better about yourself.

Benefits when you're ugly: you don't get raped.

Follower: I love your blog!
Me (in my head): Oh my God oh my God someone actually likes me! Oh my God I hope they're not messing with me this is the coolest thing EVER We will roll down hills and ride unicorns and bake cakeballs we will ship our unicorns together and then we will fangirl into oblivion! Oh my God oh my God this is not a drill, I repeat, this is NOT a drill! AHHHHH ASDFGHJKL
Me (on keyboard): Thank you darling, I love you too :)

radiosunshine-:

originalwalkingcontradiction:

This gif of Mikey… I can’t even. Holy shit.

Look at him go!

frankcest:

thefluffingtonpost:

Pug Immediately Regrets Buying Trampoline

A Seattle pug named Franklin saw a trampoline at Target and did what any other self-respecting American would in that situation — he slapped down his debit card and rolled that sucker home.

After a good hour scouting the perfect location and tending to some basic assembly, he was ready to hop on.

“He’s been bouncing for about five hours now,” says Gerald Robinson, one of about 40 onlookers who have encircled the hopeless pup. “You can tell he wants out, but he hasn’t been able to break the cycle. I sure hope he kept the receipt.”

Via Jill Watson, by way of Bunny Food.

SAMMY LOOK OMFG

wayyydown:

credits